Confession time: I'm a sinner. I wish I wasn't but I still am. Paul sums it up well in Romans (7:15-20):
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Have had this song for a while, but decided to look up the words as I listened to it today (Shifting Sand by Caedmon's Call):
Sometimes I believe all the liesSo I can do the things I should despiseAnd every day I am swayedBy whatever is on my mindI hear it all depends on my faithSo I'm feeling precariousThe only problem I have with these mysteriesIs they're so mysteriousAnd like a consumer I've been thinkingIf I could just get a bit moreMore than my 15 minutes of faith,Then I'd be secure(Chorus)My faith is like shifting sandChanged by every waveMy faith is like shifting sandSo I stand on graceI've begged you for some proofFor my Thomas eyes to seeA slithering staff, a leprous handAnd lions resting lazilyA glimpse of your back-side gloryAnd this soaked altar going ablazeBut you know I've seen so muchI explained it away(Chorus)Waters rose as my doubts reignedMy sand-castle faith, it slipped awayFound myself standing on your graceIt'd been there all the time(Chorus repeated)
My prayer? God, make me better!
Stay on the solid ground and you won't be swept around so much... time to get back some discipline and really delve into the Word.